Where do I even begin??!
As I wrote in the last "Heavenly Conversations" blog I feel like God is talking to me! It's so craZy but as I seek Him out more, and seek out His will with Nathan for us and myself, I feel He's answering!!
Last night in prayer meeting, we read 1 Peter 1:13-2:2. Here's how things stuck out to me:
15: Just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;
- Jesus wants me to be holy in all I do - the way I keep the house, the way I eat, how I act/speak at school or wherever.
- I've been reading about the Proverbs 31 woman and praying that more of her qualities will be attributed to me.
THEN 17, Father:
- First of all, I LOVE LOVE referring to God as Abba. We used to have a pretty touch and go relationship: I focused on Jesus and touched base with God when I felt guilty about giving Jesus too much attention. I felt like God was there, but we operated on a reward/punishment basis, with Jesus acting as my buffer and translator. True, Jesus is the reason I can communicate with God, but now I see God as my Father. Loving, caring, comforting, protecting, providing. It's hard to put all this into words but I'm falling so in love with Him. I'm seeing Him so differently. He's not up there with a wheel of "fortune" that He spins each day to decide what's going to befall me that day. He's intricately working in my life to make me more like His Son and giving good gifts to His children.
-Also, reverent fear:
- In my book (some night last week) the last point I read about was how yes the P 31 woman was amazing, but her motivation for her lifestyle was that she feared the LORD.
- I think I've lived a lot of my life being the "good girl" because I fear getting in trouble, and I also like knowing that I'm doing the "right" thing in the "right" way. So this called me out: "Am I really living this way because I have a reverent fear for God or because I have a fear of punishment/the future." It's a powerful question because "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). O God give me a reverent fear for You!
- At church on (SUNDAY) we started the story of Joseph in Genesis. One of the things that stuck out to me was that Israel (Jacob, in Gen 37:11) just like Mary (Luke 2:19&51) were mindful of the fact their little families were a part of God's big plan. That it's not just about their lives, but God's divine purpose and mission that they're a apart of. - This is significant for me because I am SO wrapped up in my family. I LOVE being with Nathan and turn down many events if I know he can't be with me - I'd rather be with him! And I spend a lot of time reading, praying, and learning about how to be a good wife and mother. I have this idea in my head of my cute little christian family but what a Sin it would be for me to "go by God's playbook" for families but never enlist them for the real action! By this I mean, It's our job to raise our kids in the way God would have us do it, but they are HIS. Nate's His too. I have to be willing to allow God to use us and them in whatever way He sees best. Playing by the rules is great, but if you haven't scored any points by the end of the game, you didn't "earn any interest" (Matthew 25:14-30).
- This one's kind of personal, but lately I've been thinking about how my rebellion (Thanks to a different book "Your Whole Life"s devotions for this week! How cool!) robs me of the life God wants me to have. And how following His ways in how I should dress, eat, clean, spend my time are LIFE GIVING. His way of doing things keeps me from having an empty life - an empty life full of death and self. I don't want to loose sight of this because discipline is HARD! But I'm trusting that it's worth it.
22: by obeying the truth:
19-21: Jesus.
I'm not doing this on my own. Yes my FATHER calls me to live a HOLY life out of a REVERENT FEAR for Him so that I can turn away from an EMPTY WAY OF LIFE and OBEY and trust Him but He has not left me on my own to do it:
- Through a chosen decision before anything existed, the pure and precious, blood of my Savior, Brother, and Best Friend, shed for my sake has made me believe in God and has put my faith and hope in Him.
- By His blood I am saved from my life of darkness away from my Father and given a robe and a crown; invited into their house, seated at their table and waited on by the Savior of the World. O God I can't even breathe just thinking about it! O Jesus continue to live Your Life in me! Rid me of myself, absolutely everything that isn't pleasing to You; that isn't the Morgan You dreamed of: a Morgan filled with Jesus.
So basically, I've been seeing God's heart in everything lately. I feel that I have asked for Him and He is showing up. I have requested: "Show me! Show me the way You want me to live. Make Your ways and will clear to me. Guide me in them and keep me from evil, from myself" and HE'S SHOWING ME! It reminds me of what pastor Kitchen said "set loose the bloodhounds of your heart in search of God."
And as God has promised: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13).
O Lord, keep me chasing after You. Draw me close to You. Arrest my will to Yours. Steal my heart. Compel me towards Your desires. May they be mine as well.
May it be so,
Morgan, a slave in the process of piercing her ear.
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